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Compadre

by Matthew McNeal

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1.
Alonely 03:06
My heart is a ghost town, It's lonesome and cold It's been a few years since I packed up and gone This highway don't give no love of its own So I spend my time alonely alone It's way too damn hard to love a music man But I can't really blame the girls, they've been dealt bad hands I'm a handful, I'm a drifter, I'm a sinner, I'm a mess That's why I'm all by my lonesome with a pain in my chest Alonely alone Lock myself in my house just so I can breathe Escape from the world by the skin of my teeth Broken down, moping around, life ain't easy and it sure ain't free But Momma raised me well, time to get back on the trail, I'm gonna leave 'Cause I've got a dream Alonely alone Now I'm out on the road, just my boys and me Using money from shows on gasoline We may be broken down but we ain't moping around, Life is easy 'cause these gigs ain't free I've figured it out, alonely alone ain't for me Alonely no more
2.
I am so distant, you are a tyrant Against myself you've taken me to war And though I made you, I think I hate you You don't exist to me anymore I feel defective 'cause only you can love me And it's a damn shame I didn't see it before But I hope you know that nobody sees you It's just been me and I'm walking out the door Don't you want to just leave me be There is no need for make believe I need you but I don't want to I need to but I don't want you Though you were company when I needed you And I never had to feel alone You let me down when you became irrelevant You don't want me to have no friends 'cause you're around Product of my mind, you're in my head Now I'm reliving the words you never said Imaginary company, make-believe friend You were never real, for you this is the end Don't you want to just leave me be There is no need for make believe I need you but I don't want to I need to but I don't want you
3.
I could tell you I miss you, oh but I'd be lying I could call you darlin', lay you down real slow Temptress, Jezebel, oh you had me crying But the lesson's been learned and now my bed is cold Lips like honey, she's a thoroughbred American Girl, but now I know Truth came out like the gospel from a preacher man I was born to ramble this road alone Don't blame yourself for loving a music man We share the blame for letting this start Romance too sweet for a man like me Love was in my mind, but it wasn't in my heart It's a shame, my dear, the way the cards were dealt Not a diamond on the table to make it alright Two hearts laid down, two spades to bury them I'll be playing at a club out of town tonight
4.
When I am broken, when I am broken Will you still wash my wounds? Ain't it true, oh I'm black and blue, from a life that's left me bruised The hope I had might as well be dead, it never made it through All was lost but the thought of you Oh I'm hurt, drug through the dirt and I try to defy the odds Try to do what I was called to do, giving all of my to only part of you And it's so hard, and I ain't always that strong Oh I am broken, Oh I'm so broken Will you still wash my wounds? Don't you wanna leave me alone, 'cause I ain't never home My heart has turned to stone, don't you see So how could you love a cowboy like me? When you are broken, when you are broken I will still wash your wounds
5.
I've felt the hurt and I've withstood the ache Of past love and mistakes and hearts that I've caused to break But I fell in love, like I didn't want to do You broke all the chain of the doubt I'd been holding on to So let's sell all we own and give away our things You say you've got all you need when you're sitting next to me Just hold close to me Dusting off the words that hold my restless heart down The past is the past and it all stopped hurting when you came around But you whisper and say that you've felt it all too And all the pain has shaped the road that led me to you So let's sell all we own and give away our things You say you've got all you need when you're sitting next to me Pack a bag, we'll toss it in the back when we leave Tell your folks that we're heading out 'cause we've got bigger things to see Just hold close to me
6.
These separating lines are fading And I've come to see the things I've done Have proved I'm selfish, I may be hopeless Oh, I'm a lost cause I must be kin to the desperate feeling I'm caught up in And I've got an uncanny ability to feel lonesome Anytime, anyplace, with anyone But then you call my name aloud I'm lost and don't want to be found I don't want to be loved tonight Oh, I've found love at the bottom of the bottle at a local bar And I've seen the sadness in the bottom of the glass But that lonesome heartache is better than a heart break And this too shall pass Then the whiskey calls my name aloud I'm lost and don't want to be found I don't want to be loved tonight
7.
The Wind 04:52
What if the wind doesn't take you where you want to go And the earth continues to turn While the weight of getting older still falls on your shoulders And the kindling of your dreams just won't burn When what you want and what you have don't align And what you actually need ain't so easy to find Will you pick yourself up and hop back in your truck And keep moving forward, leaving it all behind A little too much of the good stuff and I'm thinkin' 'bout All the ways that these thoughts can bring me down What will you do, what will you do when the bad times come around When you're overwhelmed and feel unimpressive When you start to buckle at the knees Will you light yourself a cigarette and try to forget That you've got these lonesome feelings inside What if I told you that we're one and the same That I don't know what to do and I'm not ashamed That I'm talking to myself and I'm not ashamed A little too much of the good stuff and I'm thinkin' 'bout All the ways that these thoughts can bring me down What will you do, what will you do when the bad times come around When it's all over, I'll have no more questions I'll have learned all my lessons And I'm glad the wind took me where it wanted me to go
8.
Mother 04:22
I remember your face that day, you were hardened like a stone I was called into the living and you told me that my father had to go I remember I couldn't understand what kind of love could end like this I was jaded from the start, my heart was broke at the tender age of six When I was scared, frightened by the storm I would run into your bedroom, looking back that bed was so cold I know that Papa wasn't there to make a house a home, And after thirteen troubled years, it was us on our own But you said "it's not your fault, my darlin" And you said "it's not your fault, my son Just know that I will never leave you, No, I won't do what Papa done" Here I am at twenty-two and Momma comes to me, worn and weighted down She finally found a mountain of a man, one that'll always stick around She said "I'm sorry for what we put you through when you were young, and I'm sorry about the tears I've loved you for long so long and want this pain to be gone but I've been holding onto this for too many years" One day I'll ask my girl for her hand and I pray that she accepts With tears in her eyes and her heart outside her chest She'll say "I love you and want to marry you for the rest of my years I've wanted you for so long, time without you has come and gone You're all I want, and I'm sorry about the tears" And I'll say "It's not your fault, my darlin" And I'll say "It's not your fault, my girl Just know that I will never leave you And I will always be the one"
9.
Just for Me 03:28
She dances while she tells her stories Her voice is my song A colored canvas, bright and vibrant She could illustrate for me all day long She painted me colors that I could finally see Such a lovely heart, a work of art made just for me Just for me I'd trade my words, the songs I play To be her brush for a single day Into her life she pictured me Side by side, next to her She painted me colors that I could finally see Such a lovely heart, a work of art made just for me Oh, my love Oh, my love She painted me colors that I could finally see Such a lovely heart, a work of art made just for me Just for me
10.
They say she is the sweetest thing south of Tennessee A southern belle through and through, just as pretty as can be She must've danced with the devil and he led her straight to me Now she is my baby and she's the only star I see She's the little star on the Texas flag and when she ain't around I'm blue I raise her in the morning proudly, lay her down when the day is through She's the north, south, east, west part of Texas in a dress That lone star won't be lonely no more Troubled as the seven seas, I'm a rowdy hearted soul My darlin' she looks past it, turns a blind eye to the cold She's the reason that birds are singing and the leaves sway in the breeze She makes summer come a'running and winter fall down to it's knees She's the little star on the Texas flag and when she ain't around I'm blue I raise her in the morning proudly, lay her down when the day is through She's the north, south, east, west part of Texas in a dress That lone star won't be lonely no more Ask her what she thinks about and she won't say a word, A woman is a mystery, like a melody unheard To this day I'm singing, loud and out of key About the little star of Texas that I've got next to me She's the little star on the Texas flag and when she ain't around I'm blue I raise her in the morning proudly, lay her down when the day is through She's the north, south, east, west part of Texas in a dress That lone star won't be lonely no more

credits

released June 30, 2015

Recorded at Redwood Studios in Denton, Texas
Produced by Joey McClellan and McKenzie Smith
Engineered by Joey McClellan
Mixed by McKenzie Smith
Mastered by Kim Rosen at Knack Mastering

All songs written by Matthew McNeal
Vocals/Guitar/Bass: Matthew McNeal
Drums/Percussion: Andre Black
Piano/Organ/Rhodes: Jesse Chandler
Pedal Steel: Eric Swanson

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Matthew McNeal Fort Worth, Texas

Texas-based singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist

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